“You’re probably thinking I’ve forgotten all about you by now, but that’s far from it. I have missed you ever waking day, and my heart still hurts, but I’m getting better. I continue to smile and still go on without you. I know I have missed you, but I have kept it all inside me, only for me to know. I still wonder about your doings, how you are, what you’re doing, what we used to talk about, to laugh in your voice. Just, everything. I miss it all. However, I feel that the parting of us was for the best, because everything happens for a reason. Should destiny put us into a crossing road in the future, that is when I will see you again. Until then, remember this:no matter what, even through the screaming fights, the disagreements, mistakes and the tears we’ve cried, never, ever did I give up on you. So if you ever need a helping hand, do not hesitate to ask. I may be far away, but I will always be in reach.”—(via thelovewhisperer)
“I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in the bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms? Or would you leave the snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree? And if you would, would you notice how that tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms to hug you every time you kiss him on the cheek? Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you sleep beside them when they’re sad, even if it makes your lover mad? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother’s joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind. Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel. See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people’s wounds.”—Andrea Gibson (via 1112pm)
I don’t cry on the outside anymore but every heartbeat feels like a pounding pain and my heart’s still a pile of little pieces. Lately, I’ve been trying to look strong as a rock but I actually have been a bleeding breathing wreck.
And you said to me, “I’m not the one for you.” and I’ve kept repeating the same sentence to you that exists somewhere inside my head. I realize that we may not deserve each other and we deserve the ones that love us the way we would love them. I can pretend that right here, I’m fine and smile joyfully. I can scream “I don’t love you” out loud. But some voice would always whisper to my heart the most truthful truth. I still care for you.
I love you.
And I still wish you could love me how I love you. I still fucking wish I was the best for you.
I’m probably the opposite even.
And that’s the reason why I’m falling apart.