Despite if I should never feel this way, I honestly want you to still chase me. I don’t know how I sound right now but what I just said was true. I realize though, what’s the point of wanting you to still chase me when I’m not gonna stop myself from running? I’m sorry to ever put you through these pains. I’m sorry that I couldn’t feel the same.
Despite the good and the bad, I still love you. Even after what you told me that should slowly remove this feeling. You always make me fall in love even when you’re so miles away and the fact that everyday nothing else connects us but facebook. Nothing is ever as exciting as talking to you. You’re like the sun of my galaxy. There’s nothing as shiny and warming as you are in my world. I LOVE YOU.
I don’t know what we are now. Friends? Lately it has seemed way more than. Best friends? I don’t think I’ve got you naked enough. Lovers in love? All this time I’ve always thought that I’m the only one in love. None of us has ever started to have a real talk about this. I would want to but I realize a part of me is not ready enough to hear and accept the ugly truth. I still want us to be more than just friends but I also think it’s not something great considering how you act in a relationship. All I know is that I always wanna spend my hours and batteries on talking to you and being with you again, no more distance pulling us apart, has always been my dream.
This is why I hate being here with you. You keep saying shits to my face and trying to make me feel worthless. Is it what someone like you has to do? I know I’ve probably given many disappointments because I’m not as perfect as you wish. I’m sorry for that you have issues with who I am. Your own expectations fail you. I’m never happy for these fights but it seems like you are. I’m so done with all these shits. I’m collecting my money to be apart by the distance from you. Someday when I’m successful and enough to be proud of, don’t be proud of me because you told me in the first place that I wasn’t gonna be the one who’d make you proud.
You know what, I would always want to talk to you for hours and hours, from one topic to another, until I fall asleep. So if I’m not talking to you it doesn’t mean I don’t want to, I’m just holding myself back.
Despite we went out a few weeks ago, now it seems you treat me like a stranger when we used to be real close. You even seem not to be interested to talk to me. Maybe I’m assuming stuffs but you’re a guy, you have to be such a gentlemen and you prove me if I’m wrong!
"It’s like you’re screaming, and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. But when it’s over, and it’s gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back, so that you could have the good."
I wonder if you still love me the way you used to. Wonder if you still want me that way. It seems like you’re over me already and it sounds a little unpleasant to me. I know how much unfair I am right now. I want you to love and want me the way you used to when I love you just as a friend. What is this kind of feeling called? I’m not sure if I’m in love with you or anything. I consider it’s kind of like how bella feels for jacob. We can’t go any further than what we are now which is friends because there’s this other guy I’ve always wanted more than anybody else in my life and there’s nothing like spending the days of my life with him. Not only am I unfair but guilty as well. I should never feel this way but I can’t just kill this feeling. I’m sorry for everything.
It’s nice to know someone that deep inside and you never thought they did, cares about you even though it might not be in the way you do about them. It’s still really sweet of them that they tell you they care and want the best for you that they would do anything that disturbs you less. They’d do anything to get you focus on the things you do that will lead you to the road of success. Then you start to realize how thoughtful they actually are despite their bad habits or the things they do that are against your way. You start to realize how precious they are and you state to yourself, you promise you’ll never ever let them go.
This is written for my friend, Louic. Thanks buddy for ever caring and being this thoughtful. Man, someday soon I’ll show you that your thoughtfulness ain’t useless. I’ll show you what you want to see from me; that successful friend. I love you and there’s not enough word to describe how much I do.
I’m in love with someone that doesn’t love me the same way. Someone who probably sees me as a friend and nothing more. I realize it much how I’ve been led on by him. I know I can’t blame him for not seeing me the way I see him. I make some fantasies in my head but realize in the end that I’m the only in love. I wish I could just pull myself together and use my head to realize that it’s not gonna happen. When he sends out such a glimmer of hope, my wall of strength comes down.
“You can’t waste time over missing something in the past. Life changes, people grow up and grow apart, and you accept that. Yet you still can’t stop thinking of how good it used to be; afraid you’d never experience it again, afraid you’ve already lived it and already lost it.”—(via wordsandlyrics)