My big family will have the Egg-Painting competition for easter Celebration this upcoming saturday. I know easter was last friday though but I know for sure its gunna be fun :) I won the the first place last year; I painted a bee :)
Now, I’m kinda confused what to paint. I already have a few ideas though but somehow not sure.
Sunday morning (04/24) I woke up feeling great. I had a very great dream, maybe the greatest dream ever so far. Of course and again, it was about him. But this time was different. Here the story went:
I was at school, just gathering around with friends. I was talking to my friend in front of the library and right across us, there were him and his friends. Laughing on something I wasn’t sure what it was. I said goodbye to my friend cause I had to go home with my other girl friend. We went down to the bus stop, it was in the evening.We somehow knew that buses were rarely around by that time. Suddenly, there came him and his friends. They were to wait for the buses too. My friend and I went the different directions so as her bus came along, she took it. She asked me how I would go home and I told her she needed not to worry about anything, she left and so his other friends. There left him, a random guy, and I. That random guy was walking away, left, him and I. All of a sudden he came to me, asked, “So Kath, why not go home with me?” I was like “WHAT?!’ how come he knew we went the same direction and how come he knew my name? dreams are always strange. "Okay then," I said. He offered me his hand to shake; I shook it and felt totally awkward and awesome at the same time. I finally touched his skin (yay!) "I’m Rial," he said. So, the strange thing is, it was our first introduction to each other but how come he knew my name and stuffs? Well, then. I started to imagine me riding his motorcycle with him but the fantasy suddenly was torn apart cause a car driven by an old men plus a few people inside stopped by and asked both of us if we wanted them to drive us home. Then, he got in and so did I. Why would he have to offer me to go home with him if he didn’t have a ride like me?
In the car, he borrowed my phone to play some game. We were not even chit-chatting cause he was busy on playing some game on my phone. But I was glad we were sitting alone right in the backseat. We arrived at my house and I got off the car. When the car started to drive again, he waved and said goodbye to me from the window. He smiled at me as I did at him :)
Man, I felt totally glad that I had that dream. i am now :) because you know how it means the world to me. i used to have dreams that have to be ended when its not supposed to because i wake up already. but this one is different. it ended just so perfectly :) plus, i have never had a dream before, where him and i both are the main roles.
i will never ever forget that dream. i always replay it in my head and somehow just to replay it makes me have a great time.
One day when I’m like 30, I’m gonna log onto my tumblr, for the first time in who knows how long it’ll be by then, and read all of my posts. Every single one. And I’m probably gonna either laugh at how ridiculous I was, or cry because I’ll never be this young and naive again
I just want you to be less stressful a little bit, just a little bit because I’m sure by you being stressful like this, worrying every little second about your sickness, it will worsen everything, especially your health. I know it’s easy for me to say for that I can not feel what you are feeling now but to be honest and serious, I know cause everyone in the family knows you’re dying. I want you to relax and enjoy your life as well as you did before things started to get rough. Here we all, to motivate you and be the arms and shoulders you need to lean on. Be ears that always listen. Be mouths that speak to you words that get your spirits back. We’re sure God is healing you but you too have to help heal yourself as well. Not that I ever mean to tell you things to do but if I could suggest you, better you be relaxing yourself, loosening all these worries inside and I believe it will soon also loosen your pains slow but sure.
I know you may not be reading this but I will always wish you the best and send my thoughts and prayers along for you. Heal and get better soon.
because only by a cheerish smile drawn on your face, you can also draw one on someone else’s.
PS. this is inspired from Rial, who’s currently my crush right now. Well, whenever he smiles, I smile and it makes my world suddenly beautiful :) so I thought, whoever you are, when you smile, you might make someone else smile too. Even you can erase all the worries and pains they’ve been dealing with in their worlds.
Take a minute to back away from your own wants and needs, and reach out to those who might seem shy, quiet, different, ‘weird’, a ‘loner’, etc…. they may need a friend, may be dealing with things in their lives and have no one to talk about it with. One simple ‘hello’ could mean the whole world…
I want to know if I’m loved. If I’m someone important for somebody. Anyone, whoever you are, tell me that I need not to be weak and feel all sad. That my smile cheers you up. That my tears put you down. That without me, you’re losing the direction. I don’t care anymore if you’re an anonymous, boys or girls, friends or family, miles away; if you love me, you tell me now. I need a true love that strengthens me inside. Not solely because you read this and want to help me rise this time. I need a true love from a sincere heart. Prove to me, I deserve to be loved.