This is a big day for me. That day has been making me nervous, working hard, praying, being close toJesus, doing all good things and many.
What kind of big day?
What happen today?
So, the announcement of AFS first selection is announced through their website. I just arrived home from church. I directly checked the website.
"In the name of Jesus, oh Lord, bless me…"
The page was opened. There was written, The list of the winners.
where is 035? I said with a very low voice. My heart was not pretty ready, but I had to, so I was trying to be ready whatever would happen.
Until the end of the list.
035 was not on anywhere.
There was no 035.
It needed few minutes to realize, I failed it.
Okay, I could not help it so I was crying. I directly updated a status on facebook about it. I know I have let down my family, and myself for sure, but that’s it. It’s already a fact that I couldn’t make it. I didn’t pass it well, I didn’t do so well on the test, I knew, I realized.
So, maybe this failure is what I deserve to get. But…
this failure will never ever stop me to reach my dreams to go to that place. NEVER EVER. Because, in trying, everyone can fail and succeed, right?
But I know, there are still another chance to try. Next, I deserve to succeed.
I have been praying. I said…
"God, whatever will happen, it’s your way for me. Your plans for me are the best things. I know you love me, And so you never give me something meaningless. even tho it’s a bad thing that you give me, but I know, God, I know, there is something beautiful behind this. God, help me prepare my heart. Even when I succeed or fail, let me still worship ya and let me still be close to you. No matter what happens God, lead me and help me prepare for everyhting."
I remember every word I said in my prayers. My prayers has made me strong in a very quick time. Only in minutes, it strengthened me. How big the power of praying is. Oh, Lord…
My heart has been prepared and failure is what I get, my heart has been prepared to receive this one too.
Maybe it’s not time for me to go there. But, there is another time. I know it guys. Even though, my heart’s broken into pieces but it soon gets healed. He will heal these wounds. I so believe.
There are still so many chances and I will take them all without doubt but with belief. I will never stop to try though my first trial was nothing but a failure but it’s just like someone who has her first chance to cook, her cookings may not taste delicious but if she wants to learn a bit more, next, all the delicous food she will serve. That’s what I have to deal with. I will be like that. If I stop now, (just because of this), I won’t know what I can get and I won’t feel the feeling of being a winner. So, never stop to try once you fail, or so many times you’ve failed, never ever stop to try.
Because, in bad times, you will learn so many great values of life that you’ve never expected before and,
one more thing,
if you stop now, you’ll miss great things that are gonna happen.
Yesterday, I was really mad with my chairmate. It was a misundestanding between us. well, it started like this,
I was in the teacher’s room, doing some stuffs there. Several remedials I had to do yesterday, P.E, was one of them. I saw Christi, with Rial, beside g\her. They were wearing their P.E outfits, plus, they were talking to the teacher too. I was alittle bit shocked to see them there, because, they were ready for doing the remedials. I shouted Christi’s name, she looked at me, but when I just started to say a few words, she turned back to the teacher whom she was talking too. I called her again but she ignored. I tried to call rial’s name but she did not hear it. So, they were off to the sport court with the teacher. I was mad that they didn’t wanna wait for me. the teacher wouldn’t want to do the remedials for other kids. So it’s like, the teacher wanted all the kids to do the remedial together in one place and one time. At that moment, I couldn’t just leave the things I was doing because, it was actually a remedial too. I just started to answer the multiple choices when I saw christi leaving. I actually wanted to leave the remedial I was doing but, yeah, I couldn’t. So, I started to feel bad about her and everything.
I got to the class, there were some kids and the P.E teacher in. I took a seat and listened to what the teacher was saying. i called christi, and she looked at me. I looked at her with all the bad feelings I had for her, I was dare to tell her everything. She didn’t understand, she seemed. “Jerk!” I kept saying that in front of her, like all the time.
I was done praying. Well, I pray a lot these days, ha. Anyway, I remembered her, Christi. I didn’t know why, suddenly, when I was praying, her face kinda like, came into my mind. So, I told God what had happened with me and her that day.
the next day in the morning.
I promised I’d be fasting that day so, I was fasting. Ya know, even though I am a christian but I do fast, it’s good. Ohkie, then, in fasting that you have to remove all the bad feelings and attitude all day long. Not only stopping yourselves to not eat and drink. So, I met her in the sociology class, and the next thing was, when i met her, i took her somewhere and what i did was, clear enough, (from the title), I said I was sorry for yesterday. I totally misunderstood at all, and also she explained to me why she kinda ignored me, and I got it. : )
So So So…
I am thankful to God for giving me strength to say it. because, I though it’d be such hard. remembering what i said that day to her and all the stuffs I did to her. Not pretty mean but kind of, nasty I gotta say.
So, I realize, many people still make it hard for saying sorry to the ones they’re mistaken. If you’re one, then, I wanna tell you.
nothing makes it hard to say sorry, it’s just YOU.
yes. you, for sure.
You wanna say sorry but, you’re shy to do it or not brave to. well, fight that feelings, go ahead, and tell them, that you really are sorry for those bad things. Nothing will ever turn out wrong after you do that, but, there’ll be such a peace in your heart and you’re gonna love it.
Never be in doubt to admit that you’re wrong. When you are wrong, say Sorry and everything will begin to clear. and always remember, the peace you’ll get.
4 friends who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party
after several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
the 1st guy said, ” my son is my pride and joy. He started workin at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied economics and business administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. he became so rich that he gave his bestfriend a top of the line mercedes for his bday.”
the 2nd guy said,” darn! That’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in a company. Where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his bestfriend a brand new jet for his bday.”
the 3rd man said, ” well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his bestfriend for his bday : a 30.000 square foot mansion.”
the 3 friends congratulated each other just as the 4th man returned from the rest room and asked, ” what are your congratulations for?”
one of the three said, ” we were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons… What about your son?”
the 4th man replied, ” my son is gay and works as a striptease dancer in a nightclub.” the 3 friends said, ” what a shame… What a dissapointment.”
the 4th man replied, ” no, i’m not ashamed. He’s my son and i love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either. His bday was 2 weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30.000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet n a top of line mercedes from his 3 boyfriends!”